Monday, January 26, 2009

WHAT I HATE TODAY: Your daily dose of negative energy

Today I hate the pathetic and degrading scrounging for quarters* that, as an apartment dweller, I must endure if I want to wear clothing free of armpit stink and gravy stains. I can buy rolls of quarters at the grocery store, but this requires that a delicate balance of factors falls into place, namely: (a) I remember to get quarters when I go grocery shopping, and (b) the grocery store has quarters available. This combination does not occur as often as it really ought to in a country that claims to be the Greatest of All Possible Nations.

WIHT HAPPY ENDING! I was discussing this problem with a friend when I said, in jest, "I should just go to the bank and get, like, a hundred dollars in quarters!" Immediately upon saying this, I realized that not only was this not absurd -- it's not like the coins spoil, after all -- it was actually the obvious solution to my problem. So I went to the bank today, withdrew $100 from the ATM, bought ten rolls of quarters, and now I can do laundry worry-free for the next three months. I can't believe I didn't think of this till now.

* Explanatory note for Canadian readers: a "quarter" is worth 25 "cents," where 100 "cents" make up a "dollar," which is the basic unit of American currency (analogous to your "loonie"). We call it a "quarter" because it's worth one quarter (that is, ¼) of a "dollar," get it? What's that? You have quarters too? Oh... never mind then.

Hard to believe that's a hundred bucks right there.


  1. That's special friend to you, buddy. Is it just me or is the far right roll slightly depleted?

  2. Yeah, okay, fine. Now: Which book is that, and let's see a shot of those CDs so we can pass judgment on your music.