Monday, January 12, 2009

WHAT I HATE TODAY: Your daily dose of negative energy

Today I hate fucking your girlfriend. Ordinarily I find it quite enjoyable to have my way with each of your girlfriend’s orifices, but today just isn’t going to work out -- I didn’t get much sleep last night and I’m absolutely slammed here at work. I would have fallen asleep at my desk already if not for your girlfriend’s nonstop pleas for me to bang her brains out in your bed.

Cripes, she’s texting me again… “cum over im horny!!1!!1!” I haven’t even had lunch yet! Hey, could you put the Xbox controller down for 10 minutes and go stick it to your girlfriend so I can eat my sandwich in peace? That would be a lifesaver. Tell your girlfriend I might be able to “cum over” later, while you’re at the gym. Thanks, buddy. I owe you one.

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