Friday, January 9, 2009

WHAT I HATE TODAY: Your daily dose of negative energy

Today I hate the Panormous Pan Pizza from Pizza Hut. (Actual taglines: “So BIG it should have its own ZIP code!” “Over 40% bigger than our Large Pan Pizza!”) Was this necessary? Was it even remotely called for? Were Pizza Hut outlets getting picketed by legions of obese people with greasy fingers and pizza sauce-stained shirts, demanding pies the size of monster truck tires?

The real question is how the other fast-food chains will respond. Stay tuned for the Mega Big Mac from McDonald’s, the Double Stuf Chalupa from Taco Bell, and the We Just Went Ahead And Wrapped A Pepperoni Pizza Around A Barbacoa Burrito from Chipotle.


  1. Lawrence, may I suggest one of these:

    Warning: Not for the feint of heart or stomach.

  2. Bryan, I actually ate one of those a while back, and it was DISGUSTING. They might as well have put a block of lard on a bun. And this is coming form a guy who once ate 5 Big Macs in one sitting.

  3. More on this subject: Obesity

    5 Big Macs in one sitting, you must have looked like a snake that ate a watermelon!