WHAT I HATE TODAY: Your daily dose of negative energy

Today I hate when people stop by my cubicle to make disparaging remarks about my teacup. I drink a lot of tea, so my teacup gets pretty narsty-looking pretty fast. But I'm too lazy to clean it, and anyway who cares? That stuff is just tea residue -- it's not like it's herpes fungus* or something.



*Explanatory note for Canadian readers: This is an example of the American humor technique known as "making shit up." Herpes is not actually a fungus -- it is a tiny catfish native to the Amazon River that can lodge itself in the urethra of unsuspecting swimmers, locking itself in place with its spines. It can only be removed with surgery.