Today I hate when I touch my tongue to both poles of a 9-volt battery,* like I’m about to do... eeearugghhh! God, that feels awful… uurrrmmmngg! If I never feel that sensation again it will be too soon... pfeh! Yekk! Vfvfvfff!
*Explanatory note for Canadian readers: A “9-volt battery” is an object that Americans use to decorate the insides of their smoke detectors. It is generally considered to have no practical use, although it was famously employed by American horror author H.P. Lovecraft, who used to think up the names of monsters (“Cthulhu!”) by touching 9-volt batteries to his tongue. (Discussion questions: Can we all agree that H.P. Lovecraft was a very strange-looking man? What’s going on with that wandering right eye? And how did he get cellulite on his chin?)