Thursday, March 19, 2009

WHAT I HATE TODAY: Your daily dose of negative energy

Today I hate this copy on the back of the Altoids Smalls tin: “35% FEWER CALORIES THAN OUR REGULAR MINTS. CALORIE CONTENT HAS BEEN REDUCED FROM 0.8 TO 0.5 CALORIES PER 0.2g OF MINTS.”

This is too obvious to bother typing out, but anybody trying to lose weight by saving 0.3 calories per breath mint has a long row to hoe. A long and very stupid row.


  1. Gee. Thanks for ripping on my new weight loss plan. @%$#!

  2. This will no doubt appeal to those poor, tortured, criminally anal gram-shaving fetishists amongst us in the speed skating and road cycling community. You know the type:

    Hey, c'mon over and check out my latest mod.

    What is it?

    I replaced all of my aluminum bearing spacers with these trick carbon fiber ones. They are like FIFTY per cent lighter than aluminum.

    (Yawn) So, what is that, a quarter gram, total?

    As if! Try like THREE QUARTERS of a gram, dude!

    Wow, that's awesome. Mint?

    Madam Beaujolais

  3. Madam Beaujolais: I bet if you google “anal gram-shaving” you will get a list of sites that have nothing to do with speed skating or road cycling.

  4. Mint?


    PS BTW, the search is MUCH more interesting if you add 'fetish' to the search term. Go ahead, try it. You know you want to...