Sunday, March 1, 2009

WHAT I HATE TODAY: Your daily dose of negative energy

Today I hate people who walk their dogs while riding their bikes. These people always look ridiculous -- they have to ride their bikes painfully slow, which is still usually too fast for the dogs, who have to pant and strain to keep up. Why not walk while walking your dog? It's egalitarian, it's fun for everyone, and there's less chance of suffering a case of road rash because your dog saw a squirrel.

For some reason this reminds me of something very sad I saw once at Wash Park: a tiny dog, maybe a Chihuahua, that had somehow lost both of its hind legs and had been fitted with a sort of harness on wheels. The poor little guy was churning his front legs like crazy, but the wheels didn't turn very well, and his tongue was hanging out as he exerted himself to make very slow progress. Meanwhile, his owner -- a chubby lady who probably spends a week in bed if she gets a hangnail -- was walking about 100 feet ahead of her dog, and kept hectoring him in an impatient tone: "Come on, Zippy! Catch up! C'mon, now!" Hey, let's lop off one of your legs and see how fast you get around.

For some reason this reminds me of a conversation I had the other day at a housewarming party, in which both Chihuahuas and dogfighting were mentioned separately. It occurred to me that Chihuahua dogfighting would be The Awesome. By which I mean that it would be a cruel and inhumane practice that any sensible and decent person should condemn. I'm just saying that if someone invited me to a Chihuahua dogfight, I would have to pause a moment before saying, "Obviously not."

BONUS WIHT! Today I also hate the word "Chihuahua," which I could not type correctly in this post.

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